Bittersweet
by Unleashed Reasoning
Summary: Understanding that maybe you have to let that one special person fly free.


**A/N:** Hmm... You have no idea how long it took me to decide where to put this. I'm still not sure I put it in the right place. However, of all my plans for it, it really, seriously, fit right here. So, here it is. Let me know what you think XD This is my first one of it's like.

* * *

I'm sorry… Truly I am. We met in the most unusual way. It seemed perchance that we ran into each other. Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe it wasn't. I'm not really sure. I've never been one for destiny and such.

**:**It was a sunny day

I remember the sky being clear, no gray

I'm not sure what I was anticipating

But I'm certain it wasn't you I was expecting**:**

Yet, meet we did. Our first meeting sent a riot of new things at us that came tumbling one after another so quickly that we could hardly stop and really assess any of it. We were captured by strings of unknown origin. We blindly trespassed down roads we didn't even really see until we tripped and fell flat faced upon them.

**:**We got lost on our combined road

Though we should have, we never felt a great load

We didn't know what to make of it

We didn't know what to name it**:**

I'm not sure why, but I pushed. I wanted and needed things I couldn't name before. I dared to try things I had barely even contemplated before… and I enjoyed every moment of it. I savored each second and selfishly begged for more. I couldn't help it. I drank of you… I basked in your small sphere of energy. I was ensnared by a rope I couldn't see and couldn't feel.

**:**I dared to try and claim you

I tried to make you my own

Every touch, every breath, every word…

It was all kept locked in hungered fervor**:**

Usually, I am not so prone to being captured. I have a strong will to fly free. Maybe it's fear that keeps me there. Maybe it's stubborn pride. What ever it is, it has kept me well fortified and standing tall. I take the harshest and crudest attacks, and I breeze through them like they never existed. Even when I pause, or simply stumble, I still stride on, confidently walking my solitary road with chin held high and a half smile on my lips. But you entered my life… and things suddenly changed.

**:**I'm not sure what happened

It hadn't seemed like something changed

But when I blinked, suddenly my road was merging

Everything I was certain of, was unhinging**:**

I tried to understand it. But I was afraid to. I didn't want to name or explore what I was experiencing. It seemed… cruel to do so. Why would I label something I still had yet to find a way to describe? Besides, I was uncertain. I didn't know what would happen. I couldn't even begin to guess. There was no certainty in anything I did… other then I did it, and I wanted to do it.

**:**How was I to know

Where this would go?

Of all the things to happen

I never saw this comin'**:**

I didn't dare give you anything that was false. I couldn't if I wanted to. Everything I gave to you… was truth. At first, that was all that was needed. We were both on shaky ground, and neither of us were quite sure where the footholds were. And then… something happened again. I came to understand… of everything, there was one thing I couldn't give you…

**:**And there it was, staring us in the face

With all that had happened at this rapid pace

Of all that I was uncertain to promise

I found that it was forever that couldn't be promised**:**

I didn't realize you had forever in your eyes. I couldn't see what was right there in front of me. By the time I understood that I was unable to give you that one thing… it was too late. You were already taken by me. You were already claimed. It was almost subtle, the way I tried to tell you. And even though I tried to back off, I found myself still seeking the now. Though forever was non-existent, I couldn't help but want what we had presently.

**:**And therein lies my fault

My whole heart was still in a vault

And though I sought to gently pull away

I too greatly wanted to stay**:**

I never wanted to be that cruel. I never wanted to outline the truth and then linger. Even then, I still told you the truth. I tried to be as upfront as possible. I should have known it wouldn't work. I should have known to walk away, to spare you the pain… But I couldn't, wouldn't… and I hurt you worse by it.

**:**I heard you crying in the darkness.

It is a horrible thing to confess,

For I feared comforting you would cause

Even more of a mess.**:**

In the end… I did the very thing I told you I would. I left. I stepped off of our twining roads… and kept on walking. Even now, I'm glancing back. I try and find what I've left behind… and a part of me is still broken hearted. Your tears still haunt me. They chase me most when I'm alone. It makes me wonder… what would have happened if I dared to try making a non-existent forever work. I still worry about you, even now. I constantly want to comfort you, even if it's because of me that you're hurting. I still want to tell you all the ways you're beautiful… and about all the things that make you shine. I want to make you smile, even if you do so grudgingly. I want to hold you close, late at night, and dream about all the things tomorrow could bring.

**:**And instead of chasing smiles

I'm almost certain thoughts of me cause frowns

All our happy memories are suddenly bittersweet

And we both feel the weight of defeat**:**

I'm honestly wishing that someone new can treasure you as much as I did, but more. I'm hoping they can promise you the forever you deserve, the one that is rightfully yours. I want to see you grow in happiness, and bloom into the radiant flower I know you can become. I want your world to expand and your horizons to be endless… because I know you can conquer anything you so desire. Your only chains are the ones you create and bind yourself with. Once you break free, you will be magnificent.

**:**With a heavy but hopeful heart

I force our ways to part

Praying for you, the best is yet to come

And all that you have, is greater then any sum**:**

So this is where we've left off… and I'm sorry it turned out this way. I never wanted to leave you this way… It was wrong of me to do so. Of all I gave and promised, I should have done the right thing from the start. But it's too late. I just wanted to let you know… how sorry I am. Not for all the time we spent together. Not for all the money I happily spent on you. Not for all the smiles, the lingering touches, and the best of all moments. I'm sorry I couldn't give you more. I'm sorry I couldn't give you all of me. But never for what I was able to give.

**:**Probably making it harder with this,

I had to give you one last kiss.

And though I can never give you myself

I give you the best of me, locked away in memories

And with our last parting farewell

With always more to seemingly tell,

A piece of me was left with you, there.

And I hope… this is your heart's last tear.**:**

My closing farewell… All and nothing… For all that I was… and can never be. I hope this sees you well, even though it isn't with me. And for every word… my heart and soul did mean… I hope you can read this one day and see, even if there wasn't forever, what you meant to me. To you, my enchanting one. May your blessings be great… and that your world shine, ever so bright, for the rest of your eternity.


End file.
